Mild-mannered Monster

Alex Day

Compositor: Third Nerimon / Tom Milsom

You posted on the internet-net-net-net
And what you said made kids upset-set-set-set
You said a song by One Direction
Was lacking in the middle section
Oh what an affront
Why are you such a cunt?

You watched a tv show you like-like-like-like
And so you made a post about it on your fucking fandom's page
Said it was action mat
A lot of fun and that's a fact
Why must you spoil it so?
I wish you'd not been born

You're a mild-mannered monster
Saying things you mean
You desagreed with someone
How could you be so obscene?
You're amenable, a maverick, and full of friendly cheer
The internet don't want your kind 'round here

You said the best Harry Potter film was the first-first-first-first
And as the kids grew up the films got worse-worse-worse-worse
Your point was quite considered, eloquent and well-delivered
But none of that is worthwhile
Since you must be a paedophile

You're a mild-mannered monster
Saying things you mean
You desagreed with someone
How could you be so obscene?
You're amenable, a maverick, and full of friendly cheer
The internet don't want your kind 'round here

You’re not allowed opinions
Cars was an okay film
You’re not allowed opinions
Cars 2 was also fine
You’re not allowed opinions
I think Sherlock can be quite wordy
You’re not allowed opinions
Alex Day’s new song was listenable
You’re not allowed opinions
I might go for lunch soon
You’re not allowed opinions
There are arguments about the non-existence of God
You’re not allowed opinions
Unless they’re the same opinions as me

You're a mild-mannered monster
Saying things you mean
You desagreed with someone
How could you be so obscene?
You're amenable, a maverick, and full of friendly cheer
The internet don't want your kind 'round here

You're a mild-mannered monster
Saying things you mean
You desagreed with someone
How could you be so obscene?
You're amenable, a maverick, and full of friendly cheer
The internet don't want your kind 'round here